Neighbours – can’t live with them but can definitely thrive without them.
Greeks tend to be very family oriented. In the 20-odd years I have been in this block of flats, I have never been invited to a neighbour’s flat. In fairness, I haven’t invited any of them either. But that seems to be the norm; people who come to your flat tend to be either relatives or tradesmen. One neighbour comes down for help with e-government matters. He doesn’t have a computer in the house. It is the same where my mother-in-law lives. I think she and my wife associate with only one neighbour in the building.
Beside us in a one-bedroom flat lives an old bed-ridden woman. She has the misfortune to be “cared for” by her foul-mouthed daughter and psychotic son-in-law. In the flat – in addition to the two barely bipedal carers and the old lady – there are, we believe, four cats and two dogs. The ursine couple also take it upon themselves to feed stray cats, sometimes throwing food over the balcony. However, the other night they crossed the line once more: raw cat food on the page of a magazine was left in the hallway for a stray cat that regularly sleeps in our building. We threw the food out. Daddy Bear and Mummy Bear went bananas. I had taken my son’s dog out, but I had to return as I could hear Daddy Bear howling abuse at my wife. I told my wife to call the police. Within an hour the police arrived. Greeks don’t care about the state of their streets and pavements, but they tend to be house-proud and keep their buildings clean. The police described the bears’ behaviour as ανήκουστο (unheard of/unprecedented). Things have been quiet since then, but it won’t last.
The occasion was also the second time I have been racially abused in Greece. Not bad in over 40 years. What annoys more than the abuse is the fact that on both occasions the abuser got the nationality wrong. I’m happy with ‘Irish bastard’ but calling me English is an intolerable insult. (On the first occasion I was told to go back to Germany.) Daddy bear’s actual words were ‘Fuck your England’ or, literally, ‘I fuck your England’. Γαμώ την Αγγλία σας. I still haven’t worked out if he was including my Greek wife in the insult or showing me some respect by using σας instead of σου!
Γαμώ and other sexual insults are a staple at Greek football matches. In the early 80s, I went to a match between Iraklis and Panathinaikos. For the whole 90 minutes the Iraklis fans rhythmically chanted, “Τσιμπούκι μας κάνει η Μάρθα Καραγιάννη” (translation: Martha Karagianni gives us blowjobs). I had to ask who the lady was. Apparently, Martha was in a relationship with the Panathinaikos goalkeeper at the time. Martha Karagianni was a film star of the 60s and 70s. She died last week, no doubt leaving the desires of Iraklis supporters unfulfilled.